Monday, October 15, 2012
Novena Day Five and Six
I am moving along in this healing art journey. On day five I did journaling about what my experience has been so far. I have made many discoveries which I know that I knew on a deeper level but, didn't want to face in my conscious state. Abandonment is something that I liken to a computer virus. It starts off under the surface. But, what it does is cut you off from the outside world in so many tricky ways. It causes you to see the world through the filter it creates. From it's tap root of separation it spawns the seeds of unworthiness, miserliness and rage. Increasingly it cuts us off from everything that would bring light into our lives. Slowly but surely your trust is dissolved until you trust nothing or no one. I mean NO ONE. This includes the Unicvrse or God or whatever higher divine nature you might think you believe in.
That is some powerful shit as has bee said by some friends. I love that quote as that is what it feels like. But, awareness is the beginning of the healing. It is the bringing of this energy of abandonment into physical form that allows me to really look at it. In a new way that I have as yet been unable to access. I find myself feeling so much love and compassion for this part of me. The seeds of forgiveness are sewn here.
In these two photos you can see the continuation of the growth of abandonment. His skeleton evolves and in the second picture his body takes shape. Next he will have his skin covering and I will begin the final pieces that will bring him to completion. He is not in his actual pose I see him. But, it was just to give this being that almost is, a bit of animate life.
Until next time my friends, stay safe and may peace and love be your constant companions.